it has really broke me down. This break down however, has been a blessing. I feel that that introspection I have been doing has opened my own eyes to see my wrongs and to fully realize what is right. I broke down all the way to my core beliefs and principles which defines me a man. I had to question what I really believed in, to build upon my core values, and live my life in accordance to what my true beliefs are. I feel like expressing what I went through so that through me others will understand the importance of realizing what you are made of, and how to apply it in your own life.
First and foremost, I must say that I broke myself down to nothing. (Or shall I say basically nothing) I questioned the most important belief, which is the belief in the God of the Bible. I was born and raised as a Christian, and when I was of age to fully comprehend and understand what it meant to really believe in God and accept Jesus into my heart, I became born again and baptized to publicly show the world my belief. However, I did fail this belief many times and did not always
live my life in a way that showed my belief. This made me question my faith and my belief. I did though find this belief to be the most important and core belief I held. I in fact truly believe in God and His Son Jesus. I had to break all the way down and ask myself “do I truly believe this?” and answered that with a yes. There is also many other beliefs that faith in God implies. I will not go into all the details, but I will say I had to believe them as well to say I truly believed in God. Basically that would then make the Bible my guide, and I truly wasn’t living my life in a way that showed it.
I realized that people (including myself) must truly break themselves down, so that at the core of
what makes “them”, “them” is how they should live. I remember the lyrics from the DC talk song “What If I Stumble”, and I quote “The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips then walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.” This made me think what if the way I was living turned people away from God. Not only was I not living in accordance to my true beliefs, but I now was hurting the cause that I believed in. That makes me a hypocrite, which in turn makes me a liar. I was lying to myself, to God, and to everyone I came into contact with. My lifestyle
could have caused people to not want to believe in my cause. That made their blood now be on my hands. I realize that, and I now must bear the burden of possibly driving people away from God and they could now be in hell partly because I wasn’t a good testimony to my own true beliefs and faith.
This halted me, and really made me analyze myself and again go into deep introspection, and
realize my faults, so that I may correct them and apply my true beliefs into my life. Because of my failures have hurt people I love, and caused unnecessary pain that I truly regret. So, you guessed it, time for a big lifestyle change. I had to completely give all of my sins and mistakes to God and repent from them. I had to allow God to change my heart and my ways so that my life would reflect my true beliefs in Him. This brings me to where I am at right now. I am currently in the process of correcting my life, and living in a way that would show what I do truly believe in.
This concept of “living in a way that reflects your beliefs” can be applied beyond religion or faith. It goes far past that. I now feel I must do my best and give my all in everything I do. That is a core value that I must apply to my life. Because of the fact that is one of the beliefs I feel makes me who I am. We should truly question our beliefs to find what we truly believe and apply that to our lives. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the belief that “cheating on a test is wrong” or that “committing
murder” is. If you believe it then apply it.
I know we are human, and we make mistakes.
The key is to learn from you failures and mistakes, to turn away from them, and to correct them (if possible). Your beliefs make you the person you are, and if you do not live like it, then people can only assume the opposite. That in fact you do not believe in it, and are really against it. So, find what your true beliefs are, and be proud of them. Do not be ashamed, instead I say be “radical” in them. Do not be afraid to show the world who you are, and what makes you, you. I am thankful that we live in a country that allows people the freedom to show who they are and to not be ashamed. We have no excuse then to not be ourselves and believe in what we feel is right, good, and just. This is the realization I have come to, and I hope you will do the same. For those who share the belief in God, please pray for me. Thanks for reading, and God bless.
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