#3 "True Beliefs"

     Recently, I have been thinking a lot about life. I have come against many trials as of late, and
it has really broke me down. This break down however, has been a blessing. I feel that that introspection I have been doing has opened my own eyes to see my wrongs and to fully realize what is right. I broke down all the way to my core beliefs and principles which defines me a man. I had to question what I really believed in, to build upon my core values, and live my life in accordance to what my true beliefs are. I feel like expressing what I went through so that through me others will understand the importance of realizing what you are made of, and how to apply it in your own life.    
    
     First and foremost, I must say that I broke myself down to nothing. (Or shall I say basically nothing) I questioned the most important belief, which is the belief in the God of the Bible. I was born and raised as a Christian, and when I was of age to fully comprehend and understand what it meant to really believe in God and accept Jesus into my heart, I became born again and baptized to publicly show the world my belief. However, I did fail this belief many times and did not always
live my life in a way that showed my belief. This made me question my faith and my belief. I did though find this belief to be the most important and core belief I held. I in fact truly believe in God and His Son Jesus. I had to break all the way down and ask myself “do I truly believe this?” and answered that with a yes. There is also many other beliefs that faith in God implies. I will not go into all the details, but I will say I had to believe them as well to say I truly believed in God. Basically that would then make the Bible my guide, and I truly wasn’t living my life in a way that showed it.

     I realized that people (including myself) must truly break themselves down, so that at the core of
what makes “them”, “them” is how they should live. I remember the lyrics from the DC talk song “What If I Stumble”, and I quote “The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips then walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.” This made me think what if the way I was living turned people away from God. Not only was I not living in accordance to my true beliefs, but I now was hurting the cause that I believed in. That makes me a hypocrite, which in turn makes me a liar. I was lying to myself, to God, and to everyone I came into contact with. My lifestyle
could have caused people to not want to believe in my cause. That made their blood now be on my hands. I realize that, and I now must bear the burden of possibly driving people away from God and they could now be in hell partly because I wasn’t a good testimony to my own true beliefs and faith.

     This halted me, and really made me analyze myself and again go into deep introspection, and
realize my faults, so that I may correct them and apply my true beliefs into my life. Because of my failures have hurt people I love, and caused unnecessary pain that I truly regret. So, you guessed it, time for a big lifestyle change. I had to completely give all of my sins and mistakes to God and repent from them. I had to allow God to change my heart and my ways so that my life would reflect my true beliefs in Him.  This brings me to where I am at right now.  I am currently in the process of correcting my life, and living in a way that would show what I do truly believe in.
    
     This concept of “living in a way that reflects your beliefs” can be applied beyond religion or faith. It goes far past that. I now feel I must do my best and give my all in everything I do. That is a core value that I must apply to my life. Because of the fact that is one of the beliefs I feel makes me who I am. We should truly question our beliefs to find what we truly believe and apply that to our lives. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the belief that “cheating on a test is wrong” or that “committing
murder” is. If you believe it then apply it.

     I know we are human, and we make mistakes.
The key is to learn from you failures and mistakes, to turn away from them, and to correct them (if possible). Your beliefs make you the person you are, and if you do not live like it, then people can only assume the opposite. That in fact you do not believe in it, and are really against it. So, find what your true beliefs are, and be proud of them. Do not be ashamed, instead I say be “radical” in them. Do not be afraid to show the world who you are, and what makes you, you. I am thankful that we live in a country that allows people the freedom to show who they are and to not be ashamed. We have no excuse then to not be ourselves and believe in what we feel is right, good, and just. This is the realization I have come to, and I hope you will do the same. For those who share the belief in God, please pray for me. Thanks for reading, and God bless.

# 2 "Time Well Spent"

     Well, I’ve had a lot on my mind recently, and this somewhat continues with my first post. If this life we have is so precious and such a blessing, what is worth spending our limited time doing? I mean really think about it. What is important to you? Is it all worth the time and effort? It all started when me and my cousin were talking about our jobs, and we were both in awe of how much of our (and mainly everyone’s) lives are spent working. Basically, we have 24 hours in each day, and of that a normal job takes at least eight of those hours (let alone the time spent to get ready for work, commute, etc.).  So, all that said around 1/3 of the average person’s life is spent working. Also, we spend around 1/3 of it sleeping too. Leaving roughly only eight hours to do what you want to do in one day. And when I come home from work, most of the time, I am so tired that I don’t end up doing what I want to do anyways.  This really took me back, I mean, I know we work a lot, but that much of our lives spent working for what? The answer is money. All that time spent is just for money.

     This really made me ask the question “Is it worth it?” I know money pays the bills, buys the food you eat, the car you drive, the place where you live, the things you want and need. But again I’ll ask again, is it worth it? Why do we need to work all we do to acquire seemingly so little? Is money required to live this life? No, it most definitely is not. Do we really need all this stuff? No, we can do without a majority of the things. We waste so much time working, to acquire money, just to spend it and use it all up so that we have to work again just to spend it again. It is a vicious circle and a pattern that I cannot stand. Who tells us we must work to live, or that money is required to survive? Who says that somehow wasting all this time working is a good way to live? I have to step back and ask myself “Why is this practice so widely accepted?”  The answer is our society, yes, our society is so corrupt and mislead that we feel that money somehow leads to a happier and better life, but does it really? It seems to me that we are all jus slaves to the system.

     I think we must question the end (things acquired with wealth) rather than means (the wealth itself). What are we gaining buy buying all these items? They are nothing but material things that will not matter once we are dead and gone. We cannot take them with us. So, why are we working so hard and wasting time trying to acquire them? Does the time you worked to acquire them worth an item or thing that is perishable? I believe that this is not the way life is meant to be lived. That the time we spend on chasing “the American dream” is wasting away too much of our precious lives. There has to be a better way. Think about it, we all die and we cannot take all this precious money or things with us. So really, what is the use? 

      So what real value is money worth? -Nothing at all. Sure, it pays my bills. I have electricity, clean water, a car, a cellular phone, internet, etc. But do I really need all of these things to live, no. Honestly, I can say that those things are not really necessities but luxuries. Luxuries that really are not worth all the time used up just have them.

      I wish life would just get simple again. Where you built your own house with your own two hands, where you live off what the earth provides you, you grow your own garden, and hunt for food. A life where we forget these luxuries we have today. Where the work we do is only to provide for ourselves, and not a waste of time acquiring worthless money. A life where the means of trade are real material meaningful objects, not just an idea and a piece of paper that is worthless. A life where the time you have is more meaningful than the objects you can obtain.

     I want to look back to how life used to be and how simple it could be. I want to look at Jesus and how he lived. He didn’t have the need for money or material things. He had a purpose and he focused his time on fulfilling that purpose. He didn’t waste any time, and everything he did had a meaning. His life is the perfect representation for how life should be lived.

     I want to live my life so when I am old and dying I can look back and not regret or feel like I wasted it away. I want to feel that I used the time I had properly, and enjoyed life to the fullest. To feel like my life had meaning and that I obtained more than just wealth, to know that I did my best to accomplish my purpose, and succeed at my goals(and no, my goal is not to waste time chasing wealth). I want to live a meaningful life, and spend my time wisely.

#1 "To Live is to Die"

     Well, this is my very first blog. I figured I might as well write down some of my random thoughts. Mainly so that someday I can refer to that certain date and time to understand how I was feeling, what I was thinking, etc. Basically like an online journal. Okay, here we go. I honestly feel that gaining knowledge is one of, if not the most important thing we can do in this life. I also feel that we have no limitations of what we can learn or do (except for the limits we put on ourselves). I understand that I am somewhat young, and therefore lack in some “life experiences”, but I cannot help my age. I can only use what I have learned and experienced in the time I have had. I try to give myself good opportunities to acquire knowledge so that I can expand what I know (i.e. books, research, situations, etc.).  Here are some random thoughts I have in my head:

1.          1. To live means you also must die.

2.          2. Once past the age of maturation we are slowly dying.

3.          3.  Knowing this sucks.  

     

     We, seemingly then, are just stuck wondering when that last moment of life will occur. Therefore, we are always trying to prevent it. But even trying to prevent death sucks, all we are doing is prolonging the inevitable, and we know that is a worthless measure. So what should we do? Should we all just commit suicide and end the suffering now?

     I say no. I feel that this means every single moment is special and a blessing. Yes, we may be cursed to suffer and die, but knowing this somewhat makes everything more sweet. Because we then know every second counts, we must try to live that way. The saying “live like you’re dying” should be “live because you’re dying”.  Mainly what I mean is, enjoy every single moment as if it IS your last, because you never know, it really could be.

     Look at it this way, if we lived on and on, wouldn’t that make life boring? You could literally do it all, see it all, and experience it all. But knowing you could, would make everything less important and exciting. That next breath of air isn’t important because you know there will be another one, and another one, and so on. I like the passage from Ecclesiastes 1:2-8  “ ² “Everything is meaningless,” says the Teacher, “completely meaningless!”

   ³ What do people get for all their hard work under the sun? ⁴ Generations come and generations go, but the earth never changes. ⁵ The sun rises and the sun sets, then hurries around to rise again. ⁶ The wind blows south, and then turns north. Around and around it goes, blowing in circles. ⁷ Rivers run into the sea, but the sea is never full. Then the water returns again to the rivers and flows out again to the sea. ⁸ Everything is wearisome beyond description. No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content.”

     Wow! Could you imagine have to deal with that and never be able to die? Everything wouldn’t matter as much or really at all. Procrastination wouldn’t really matter because there will always be time for it. It would make me ask “what for?” and “why?” Yes, everything would be meaningless.

     I guess what I am saying is that, yes, death is a curse, but that, yes, it is a blessing as well. It makes you realize how important everything is. It causes you to enjoy everything more. Yes, knowing you are dying does suck, but enjoying what time you do have does not. So go out and live it up! Enjoy everything!

That’s what I’ve been thinking about that life doesn’t have to suck; you can enjoy it as you slowly die.  But mostly I need to remember and say to myself  “live BECAUSE you are dying”.